Sunday, August 9
#32 - name change
For months you have been pestered on your cellphone by telemarketers. The calls have become so frequent that they are even bothersome when you ignore all unknown phone numbers. And though at first the conversations carried some modicum of politeness and common courtesy, those on the other line have become increasingly belligerent as of late (when you happen to unwittingly take the call). You often feel strangely shaken after hanging up.
This is happening to nobody else you know, and when you decide to investigate further you learn of the purported existence of a mysterious telemarketing call list. The list includes roughly 0.01% of the United States population and is shrouded in secrecy. Though you cannot find concrete evidence that the list exists, those who claim it does say that there is no way to have your name removed. There are plentiful conspiracy theories that attempt to explain why the list was created (many think it is simply a social experiment), but everything you hear and read leads you to believe that your name is on this list and that you will need to take some action to stop being hounded.
The nagging calls have persisted even after two changes of phone number, so you finally conclude that your only option is to change your name. You plan to select a new first and last name and figure that you will try to start going by that name even amongst friends and family, to minimize confusion between what others call you and your legal name (shown on mail, identification, and any legal documents). What do you choose as your new name?
Posted by Matt at 11:12 PM